Bye bye baby, baby goodbye

It is a horribly familiar situation. Waiting for a response from the other person.

Desperate for them to say they are thinking the same thing and I am not wrong in clinging to that last piece of hope. I have lost all my pride. I don’t like to admit it, but I might have even begged.

In my heart of heart, I know that they don’t feel the same way, but just now all possibilities exist at once. Maybe it’s not all over. Maybe I get a second chance at this.

I physically ache. It’s the uncertainty and the fast-approaching inevitable. It’s coming at me like an express train – those little words that will usher in reality. Words that will force me to start dealing with the consequences of this unholy mess.

Losing you is hard, but it is more than that. It’s the loss of possibility, the places we could have gone, the things we could have seen together, the freedom that stormed into my life with your arrival.

It is also the knowledge that it is my fault. If I had been paying attention, if I had not been day dreaming, I would have seen the inevitable crash coming and could have done something to avoid it.

I am waiting. Always waiting.

And then all of a sudden the music stops and a disembodied voice delivers the inevitable:

“I am sorry Miss Sawyer but I am afraid that the car is simply not worth enough to consider repairing and we have to write it off.”

You are out of my life for good.

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About agirlcalledTom

Well the girl bit is a tad optimistic!
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8 Responses to Bye bye baby, baby goodbye

  1. Blonde says:

    Bah! You had me all welled up there.

  2. If it’s a stalking car, it may want a second chance and come back in the form of a can of beans/coke. You might have to buy a years supply of beans for the chance to touch that metal again though.

  3. Well you would think, but actually I did later manage to persuade them otherwise and it is currently being turned back into a thing of shimmering beauty.

    In as much as a 24 year old Vauxhall Nova ever can be a shimmering thing of beauty!

  4. Brennig says:

    Good news that there’s life in the old dog yet obv.

  5. Roly Taylor says:

    I rather enjoyed reading that, thank you.

  6. um, if its only an insurance write off (like a class C), then you know if you really want to keep the car you can have it repaired yourself. Insurance companies write cars off all the time that are fine really, something to do with how much the loan car costs, and trying to get you to buy a new car. Someone explained it all to me once; they put you in a nice loan car while they sit on getting yours assessed, this costs money so writing off your car means they can reclaim that money somewhere along the line (probably in selling your car later at auction). Also putting you in a nice car is supposed to get you to want to have a nice new car, which of course they will insure for you at far more than they would if you went and bought an older car again.

    …or something like that. Either way, if its not a total wreck you could still keep and drive it.

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